An Eternal Grief

We have been visiting this woman since Lachlan was a baby. She always enjoyed seeing my boys but you could tell she felt sadness as she held them.

I was humbled by her vulnerability to give me a glimpse into her story.

She has two daughters but always wanted a son.

Her first boy was stillborn and the doctors told her to try again. She tried NINE more times, losing every single one of her precious boys.

She never got to feel their warm bodies against her chest, never got to experience the joy of raising a son.

“I just couldn’t let it go, I wanted a boy so bad.”

60 years later, it’s a grief she still holds deeply. “I suppose in heaven I’ll be surrounded by lots of boys, but that doesn’t help the pain that has lingered my entire life.”

We lost one baby, a grief my husband and I still hold near. Seeing those tears in her eyes, I only felt a ninth of her pain, and how horribly it hurt.

My boys will never heal her grief but if a wheelchair pushed by two cute little boys, 60 years later, brings even the slightest comfort, I am honored to be part of that.